I feel I can’t give 100% to anything – including my family – Ask Philippa

In a recent interview, Philippa Perry shared her thoughts on embracing imperfection and the significance of nurturing relationships. “The pressure to be perfect can be incredibly stifling,” she stated, encouraging people to rethink their high standards.

One reader expressed feelings of being unable to fully commit to different aspects of life, such as work, friendships, and family. “I worry that I might lose people or miss opportunities, but somehow, things usually work out,” they confessed. This sentiment revealed they were trapped in a cycle of anxiety over decision-making, often choosing actions out of obligation rather than genuine desire.

Philippa offered a transformative perspective: “Let go of the idea of perfection and aim for 70% instead. Perfectionism can paralyze you and obstruct real connections.” She pointed out the success of the reader’s business, which appears to operate smoothly—a reflection of their abilities despite their internal conflicts.

Drawing from her experience in psychotherapy, Philippa discussed the burden of the “should.” “It seems like you have a massive ‘should’ weighing you down, insisting you must give your all,” she remarked. “Now is the time to question that narrative. Sometimes, this internal pressure can provoke our rebellious side, causing us to disengage completely.”

She emphasized the necessity of listening to one’s emotions instead of adhering to strict expectations. “We all have this inner voice dictating what we ‘should’ do, but there’s also that ‘Underdog’ part of us that just wants to feel good and take action. When you regularly make choices based on obligation, it’s vital to incorporate what you genuinely want.”

Encouraging the reader to adopt an attitude of “that’ll do” instead of striving for perfection, Philippa provided practical suggestions: “Make time for activities that bring you joy. Instead of viewing your daughter as a responsibility, see her as an opportunity to connect. Play, be silly, and create a joyful atmosphere.”

She also highlighted the importance of open dialogue in relationships. “Talk to your wife about your feelings. Acknowledging your struggles can promote understanding and teamwork.” She recommended being intentional about spending quality time with loved ones, even in simple ways, like sharing meals or engaging in fun activities.

In the end, Philippa reminded us of an important truth: “People often regret not spending enough time with their loved ones when reflecting on their lives. Focus on connections over perfection.” Her final message was clear—investing your time and energy into what feels right can lead to a more fulfilling life.